"It's your big day."

So indeed tomorrow is a big day..a minature big-day. Aww, what the heck, my words are scrambled again, can you believe someone who's as shy as being unable to type firmly into a blank page, yeah it's me. It's the me who in some noticeable fashion(Yes I know , the waist, and I'm magically ten years older) whom has been changed, strayed off or restored, I wonder.(So, to whom these words shall find their character in, you are probably able to authenticate by now these erratic thoughts do verify it's another one of my ramblings again. And voicing my testimonials here by no means signifies my eagerness to promote this scrapbook.)

This is the brainchild of a 9 month long emptiness(code: winter) The 9 months which are stagnant as water, blank as white houses, quiet as blue mornings in judgmental eyes, yet as you all know the picture's nothing but that, nothing as simple or mediterranean as that is what I wish to connotate in words that describe anger, fear, downheartedness, desultoriness, and hiatus.
But after all it's as if I have had all the time some dont have in the world to watch myself in greyscale, then I thought: this could not be the beginning, nor abruptly the end of something. This could be a life as monochrome as black ties in white suit outside the school fence if we lost ourselves the spark, the zeal, the raison d'etre(code: dream). And then it occurred to me, if somehow I'll lost my way in the search for a home, that I shall never be as proud as a kite runner, that I shall lost the dreams which have sailed me hitherto and to step into an apparition of emptiness, there will still be this palpable part of me I'll always be grateful of, the one who happens to be a confluence of you all, your, or our mutual weaknesses that pained us to search for much more than self, and your virtues and beliefs that will incite me to search for much more than life.

(The set of numbers below are not in any form of chronological, alphabetical, neither ascending or descending order, they're just, me -erratic)

The un-trademarked Fantastic 4.


0530

The guy friend whom we did all the guy talks, and also the first one who tasted my chilling reticence, and accounted years later he unwrapped the adorable plump devil
beneath the disguise that I once darted him a chilling look. Ah whatever, at least you found me! And ops, thenceforth he has been the mortal who devotedly came to this devil for some virtuous ocnfession, and only to find himself debauched into some licentious chatter. Yet he came back again and again, I wonder. Alright just kidding.

And, he's quite a catch(not mine though) therefore I cannot recommend him enough for the eyes of all the honorable women out there and attached is the criteria of the candidate: sensible, down-to-earth, romantic(or nasty), attentive(or maybe lusty)
Hahahha, bless you, the sentiment I have been trying to cultivate in this post is ruined!

He's a car fanatic, he has got these magazines and factsheets statistically imprinted in his trapezium head. So whenever you need advices, or talks, or would like to be his friend, even girl friend, give him a call at:(find-me-at-the-love-parade). Boy, aint you multifunctional, every woman needs a guy like him.

Serious, ahem, he has been a steadfast acquaintance of mine, from age of 13, and even if he's the only son in his family, even if he looks no more robust than a branch in the wind, here is he, mellowed but ever-growing emotionally, though sometimes slacking, but diligent and learning to find himself in his big big world.


1016

Here's the woman who's soaring herself into music. Her homage paid to rock is not any less than band players who altars the stage, and you guessed it-she lives wildy, walks wildly, eats wildly, drives wildly in her singular Myvi-dark grey body with a bright caramel skirt which I dare you to find no other more peculiar yet matching pair.

But if she happens to step down her car slowly and in the gentle wind you will find she talks with a tenderness of a piano player playing Adagio, and when she straps on her guitar she walks with a confidence not any less than a soloist, when she sings she voices in the grace of a choir alto.
(The above phenomena are observed once in a blue moon, Results may vary, what's the saying about...different strokes for different folks? )

If she had been coddled, she now manifests total independence in her actions, if she had been sulky, she's now as patient as a listener, if she had been feeble, she now is, on the way of becoming a leader, leading a chaotic life, balancing the niches of a sister, a daughter, a music student, a friend and a woman.

And with her pure ardour towards music, she's practically the one who loves all the music, though not as comprehensive as all genres but, she loves them more than fervently and more important, purely, and she's now on her promising way to the realm of music.


0626

Now who is this, eXOtic plumpy? Every where she walks she shakes the room with her hips. And now she's doing PR with her flashy and 'persuading' eloquence, she'll be one hell of a talker out there.

But way back when we're in white shorts, I used to picture us as lilies on meadows, and despite all the craze and madness in our respective worlds the metaphor is overtly simple, not the least saccharine.

We met 4 years ago, and for the longest of time she has been closest to a, if I might, not just a friend, a woman I'm quite fond of. Often does she know what I'm expressing, vice versa. In her voice there's a certain warmth of caring, which often as mysterious to me as the girl I saw in her. In fact I once attributed her as a girl with a killer's countenance,
and in these years sometimes the mystique I once saw in her surfaced as plain sorrow, and sometimes much more than any one of us she is disheartened. But there she is, after hurdles and hurdles which she overcame with all the guts and tears, ready to search and enjoy much more than her life can offer.

And if I may, shamelessly remark that if there was a pair somewhere out there who shares our kind of relationship, with me not being so 'me', there might have been so much more space to fill between us, much more understanding to pull us closer. I can only say that. And for the sea of empty promises I've once selfishly forged her for the sake of retaining her company, I can only say that.

Thought she might not be the voluptuous lady in a Bond movie, she's not any..less...BOMBASTIC. But, on her informal farewell, she spontaneously asked my hands for a Long Distance Relationship...Sorry, I'm not your Christine...

0925

The inept narrator who has been typing for your scrolling needs.



And here's a revelation for your inquisitiveness if you have been bored, 4 of us have been single since we were born of mergence of 2 life-complex, in other words, we were born into this 'hectic' singleness from doubleness, what the heck?(dont suggest pairing us up) that we pathetically came up with a plan to expense and let out all the fury and solitude of being single into cutting a god-damn cake annually at Valentine's day.

But even if we've yet to have our fill of romance, we once had a life at the age of 15 which, not a teenage drama, yet not any less the craze which enveloped our youth in.
(Standing on a see-saw memorizing formulaes, sitting in the middle of a ball court compassed in haze doing religious last minute studies, hiding in the tunnel of playground faking car accidents. Looking back makes me feel 10 years younger.)

That's the un-trademarked Fantastic 4, Guess who's who then.


0327

The big brother who currently is in a romance quandary, yea I know what all you folks want to say- as he always has been.

He's quite an explorer, who possesses quite a keen curiosity. He'll do all the crazy things, jumping off a slope, incinerating bugs and countless laugh-out-loud stuffs. As luck may have it, this is why he'll always be the one manifests in a multitude of fashion- injured toes weeks before competition, bruises are part of his complexion, sometimes ugly hair, colored nails...paint your own picture.

And time has diverged us to different men, but I've once been an insecure kid who looked up to him as a brotherly figure, eventhough now we are, as we came to know each other, both just men with overwhelming relationship problems, but he's a man who'll live in a...reckless? or carefree? or intrepid? manner, hmm rather would I say, one of a kind. He's he.

For your info, he's always selling like hot cakes, picked out of the shelf or self-promoting, so I proudly declare: He's a n-th hand good. No experience needed, just pick him directly from the shelf and he'll be yours, but you'll have to be quite a keeper too.



To be continued...