i remember i set 'control' as a target. to find control over my life by imposing rules and principles none would even bother to recall they exist. true, yet cant say i passed this year without any friction.
looking back it was too unreal, somehow i stumbled my way into medical school after a long long slumber, only to find that somehow i assumed the role of a type A personality medical student, and can you believe that i was as ambiguous as wishing I was HepB+ to give myself a U-turn?
art has left me, or more honestly i've left art, the mindset, the world, the individualistic words and even the thought of venturing into it is too tiring. yet in return i felt its arrogation of my humanity and empathy.
thoughts of these use to encumber the boy and teenager I was, and now with their absence, can I assume that i'm not foolishly ignorant i.e finally a grown-up?
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